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2017 Loser of The Year: CNN

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CNN is lost in a disoriented, drunken stumble, lacking directions or the ability to explain themselves to the proper authorities. They’re not sure what’s going on and they have no idea what they’re doing or what to do next. They’re getting locked up in the drunk tank and nobody in the mainstream media even wants to drive down and bail them out. They’ve lost the script. They’re staring deer-like at the camera mouthing “Line?” and the camera guy is just shrugging. It’s arguably the most pitiful breakdown of any major institution in American history.

Isn’t it grand?

The main problem with CNN is that the people who work for the network are not intelligent. Never was this fact on fuller display than during the “Reddit Guy” episode of July 2017.

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President Donald Trump tweeted a meme depicting him bodyslamming a WWE wrestler character with a “CNN” logo over its face. The tweet was well-received by the president’s fans, and it made sense, considering that CNN was embroiled in one of its many ethics scandals after Matt Boyle proved that CNN’s story about Anthony Scaramucci’s Russian ties was bogus, prompting multiple CNN resignations.

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So CNN decided to go on offense. It’s unclear how many editorial meetings were devoted to the plan they hatched, but needless to say it left us all on the edge of our seats. CNN Internet-search specialist Andrew Kaczynski tracked down the person who made the meme on Reddit, CNN reportedly threatened to dox him, and they forced him to apologize.

Kaczynski wrote:

“The apology came after CNN’s KFile identified the man behind “HanA**holeSolo.” Using identifying information that “HanA**holeSolo” posted on Reddit, KFile was able to determine key biographical details, to find the man’s name using a Facebook search and ultimately corroborate details he had made available on Reddit. On Monday, KFile attempted to contact the man by email and phone but he did not respond. On Tuesday, “HanA**holeSolo” posted his apology on the subreddit /The_Donald and deleted all of his other posts.”

It was like a Jason Bourne movie!

CNN then bragged about this on the air, seemingly convinced that Middle America would rally behind them for intimidating the Reddit guy into hiding. “Remarkable!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTxGhbXBWoY

Of course, this “remarkable” work by the CNN investigators simply unleashed an Apocalypse of CNN-getting-bodyslammed memes. They basically poked the hornet’s nest of the Internet with Kathy Griffin’s severed-Trump-head statue. The Internet responded in kind.

Who is leading this pack of blind people through traffic? In many respects, the face of their organization is a man named Jim Acosta, the CNN White House “reporter.” Mr. Acosta tried to debate Stephen Miller on immigration policy. That didn’t turn out well for him. Mostly, because Acosta apparently thought a poem written on the Statue of Liberty was binding law.

Jim Acosta was clearly not very happy with the result of this debate. So he went on a sad little Twitter rant quoting the poem on the Statue of Liberty.

It’s probably best for clear-thinking Americans that these are the people CNN chooses to employ. They do more damage to themselves than Trump supporters ever could. Would we rather wrangle with Noam Chomsky about socioeconomic history or just smack down the guy who thinks a poem is a law? It’s easier this way.

CNN chief Jeff Zucker and his team don’t understand news media. They understand it just enough to lose at it. They get, on some level, that they’re supposed to be anti-Trump crusaders in order to keep liberal viewers riled up and corner that market share. But what they don’t understand is that if you go after the enemy incompetently and lose time and time again, that market share will turn on you for making matters worse. To be a liberal watching this pabulum, so I’ve heard, is to contort one’s face into a permanent cringe.

Fox News is almost tripling these clowns in the ratings, and nowadays people just kind of shrug when CNN says something. “Eh, it’s just CNN.” They have less credibility in news than Courtney Love.

It all makes sense, considering Don Lemon literally ended last year drunk on the air. The rest of the cast just kind of kept that vibe going.

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SOLITARY: Michael Avenatti Transferred To El Chapo’s Former Cell In New York Jail

Federal prosecutors aren’t inclined to give Avenatti a break.

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New legal documents published Monday night reveal that showboat attorney and former cable news star Michael Avenatti has been transferred from a California jail to an infamous New York jail after violating the terms of his pre-trial agreement.

Avenatti was arrested at a hearing of the California Bar Association last weekend.

New documents published by his attorney surfaced Monday, revealing that Avenatti was transferred from California to New York over the weekend and jailed at the Metropolitan Correctional Center. Avenatti is currently facing criminal charges related to an alleged extortion of Nike, in which the showboat attorney is said to have threatened the sporting company with legal and press campaign against it if it failed to provide him with millions of dollars.

The documents assert that he has been housed in a cell formerly occupied by Mexican Cartel boss El Chapo, an infamous global criminal who has since been transferred to a federal prison in Colorado known as the most secure in the country.

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In another strange twist, the Metropolitan Correctional Center was the location of infamous billionaire pedophile Jeffrey Epstein’s detention and controversial “suicide.”

Avenatti’s lawyers are asking for him to be removed from protective custody and placed in general population in order to effectively litigate his ongoing court case.

With the once-hyped potential presidential candidate literally being housed in El Chapo’s former jail cell, it’s hard to think of a more dramatic character arc for the celebrity lawyer. Around a year ago, Avenatti was still exploring the possibility of a campaign for the Democratic nomination.

As he fights against criminal charges that could carry a penalty of a life sentence in prison, it appears unlikely that Avenatti will be getting anywhere with any political ambitions anytime soon.

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