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California Regulates Cow Farts, Texas Ag Chief Says Cows ‘Can’t Fart’

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SACREMENTO, CALIF. — The “Golden Gate” state is now regulating cow farts in an effort to stop disproven and nonexistent global warming (now referred to as “climate change”), according to reports.

The California Air Resources Board is making the new anti-fart measures the centerpiece of its climate change plan. “If we can reduce emissions of methane, we can really help to slow global warming,” said Ryan McCarthy, a science adviser for the California Air Resources Board, which is drawing up rules to implement the new law.

Sid Miller, Texas Commissioner of Agriculture and close friend of Pres. Donald J. Trump, thinks the whole policy is nonsense — but not for the reasons you might expect. Miller thinks the policy is absurd, because cows are scientifically incapable of farting … the end.

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“Well the jokes on them. Cows are ruminates, which have four stomachs. Ruminates can’t fart, impossible. No cow has ever farted. Problem solved,” Miller told Big League Politics.

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Miller continued:

Texas leads the nation in cattle production, twice as many as the second-place state. You want to take on Texas cowboys ? Come on, give it your best shot.

As reported by Associated Press (AP):

Livestock are responsible for 14.5 percent of human-induced greenhouse gas emissions, with beef and dairy production accounting for the bulk of it, according to a 2013 United Nations report.

Since the passage of its landmark global warming law in 2006, California has been reducing carbon emissions from cars, trucks, homes and factories, while boosting production of renewable energy.

In the nation’s largest milk-producing state, the new law aims to reduce methane emissions from dairies and livestock operations to 40 percent below 2013 levels by 2030, McCarthy said. State officials are developing the regulations, which take effect in 2024.

California is on track to transfer the rest of its clinging industries to the Lone Star State, due to increased taxation, new costly regulations, and recent mandatory increases in overtime pay — all of which together will force many California dairies to shut down. A full 1,800 businesses were leaving California and a majority were destined for Texas, as of December, 2018.

For socialists in New York — the human plight is less important than getting cow farts down to a reasonable level. Said U.S. Rep. Alexandria Oscasio-Cortez in an initial outline of her “Green New Deal,” they plan to “set a goal to get to net-zero, rather than zero emissions, in 10 years because we aren’t sure that we’ll be able to fully get rid of farting cows and airplanes that fast.”

The language was later changed to “emissions from cows.”

And why must California agriculture pay such a heavy price in lost production, jobs, and profit? Because the UN says that 2016 is the warmest year on record. Presumably, Americans are expected to respond with horrified shrieks and “Chicken Little” paranoia. There’s just one problem with the UN’s “if a, then b” scare tactic: we’ve heard it all before, the last time they said it’s the “warmest year” on record; and what followed, was a 16-year cooling trend, featuring record cold temps logged by NASA satellites.

It was the 2001 IPCC Third Assessment Report (TAR), which claimed the 1990s was likely to have been the warmest decade and 1998 the warmest year during the past 1,000 years. Then, it got cold — and the UN put the “warming” claims on ice.

Border Security

Biden’s Open Border Policies are a Magnet for Incoming Central American Caravans

The mother of all caravans is coming

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Some things are simply too predictable.  According to Ben Wildon of SaraCarter.com, a new migrant caravan from Central America is quickly forming, and it’s heading northward to the U.S.

Incoming President Joe Biden’s lax immigration policies have become a magnet for migrants who desire entering the U.S. illegally. They know very well that Biden will not drop the hammer when they illegally enter the country. Up to 9,000 migrants have apparently been making their way to the U.S. At least 1,000 of those migrants illegally entered Guatemala on January 15, 2021, according to a report by the Associated Press.

The pro-mass migration group Pueblo Sin Fronteras was ecstatic about the new caravan and urged the incoming Biden administration to welcome them with open arms in a statement that it released recently.

“We recognize the importance of the incoming Government of the United States having shown a strong commitment to migrants and asylum seekers, which presents an opportunity for the governments of Mexico and Central America to develop policies and a migration management that respect and promote the human rights of the population in mobility,” the statement said.

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In addition, the group stated, ”We will advocate that the Biden government honors its commitments.”

Additionally, the group called for immigration reform (amnesty) by scrapping laws that make migrants stay in Mexico as their asylum requests are processed.

“A new United States Government is an opportunity to work with the Mexican Government to develop a cooperation plan with Central America to address the causes of migration, together with civil society organizations, as well as an opportunity to increase regional cooperation regarding the persons in need of protection, and to dismantle illegal and inhuman programs such as Remain in Mexico, the United States’ Asylum Cooperation Agreements with El Salvador, Guatemala and Honduras, as well as the Title 42 expulsions by the United States authorities,” Pueblo Sin Fronteras stated.

According to a Fox News report, Biden has vowed to provide citizenship to illegal aliens and do away with a number of Trump era policies such as the enforcement of the public charge rule, the temporary immigration moratorium during the Wuhan virus pandemic, and several restrictions to the H1-B visa system that kept legal immigration in check. Additionally, Bden wants to implement a moratorium on ICE deportations.

Curiously, Susan Rice, a Biden administration policy advisor revealed that the U.S. would not be fully opening the borders to migrants right off the bat.

“Processing capacity at the border is not like a light that you can just switch on and off,” Rice told the Spanish news site EFE. “Migrants and asylum seekers absolutely should not believe those in the region peddling the idea that the border will suddenly be fully open to process everyone on Day 1. It will not.”

These caravans will only grow larger as time goes by. The Biden administration’s weak border policies serve as a magnet for migrants. Border security is a pillar of any coherent political jurisdiction. Failure to secure a border, will inevitably lead to political chaos.

If Republicans are serious about getting back into power, they should unapologetically push for strong border policies, zero tolerance on illegal immigration, and a legal immigration moratorium.

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