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California Regulates Cow Farts, Texas Ag Chief Says Cows ‘Can’t Fart’

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SACREMENTO, CALIF. — The “Golden Gate” state is now regulating cow farts in an effort to stop disproven and nonexistent global warming (now referred to as “climate change”), according to reports.

The California Air Resources Board is making the new anti-fart measures the centerpiece of its climate change plan. “If we can reduce emissions of methane, we can really help to slow global warming,” said Ryan McCarthy, a science adviser for the California Air Resources Board, which is drawing up rules to implement the new law.

Sid Miller, Texas Commissioner of Agriculture and close friend of Pres. Donald J. Trump, thinks the whole policy is nonsense — but not for the reasons you might expect. Miller thinks the policy is absurd, because cows are scientifically incapable of farting … the end.

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“Well the jokes on them. Cows are ruminates, which have four stomachs. Ruminates can’t fart, impossible. No cow has ever farted. Problem solved,” Miller told Big League Politics.

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Miller continued:

Texas leads the nation in cattle production, twice as many as the second-place state. You want to take on Texas cowboys ? Come on, give it your best shot.

As reported by Associated Press (AP):

Livestock are responsible for 14.5 percent of human-induced greenhouse gas emissions, with beef and dairy production accounting for the bulk of it, according to a 2013 United Nations report.

Since the passage of its landmark global warming law in 2006, California has been reducing carbon emissions from cars, trucks, homes and factories, while boosting production of renewable energy.

In the nation’s largest milk-producing state, the new law aims to reduce methane emissions from dairies and livestock operations to 40 percent below 2013 levels by 2030, McCarthy said. State officials are developing the regulations, which take effect in 2024.

California is on track to transfer the rest of its clinging industries to the Lone Star State, due to increased taxation, new costly regulations, and recent mandatory increases in overtime pay — all of which together will force many California dairies to shut down. A full 1,800 businesses were leaving California and a majority were destined for Texas, as of December, 2018.

For socialists in New York — the human plight is less important than getting cow farts down to a reasonable level. Said U.S. Rep. Alexandria Oscasio-Cortez in an initial outline of her “Green New Deal,” they plan to “set a goal to get to net-zero, rather than zero emissions, in 10 years because we aren’t sure that we’ll be able to fully get rid of farting cows and airplanes that fast.”

The language was later changed to “emissions from cows.”

And why must California agriculture pay such a heavy price in lost production, jobs, and profit? Because the UN says that 2016 is the warmest year on record. Presumably, Americans are expected to respond with horrified shrieks and “Chicken Little” paranoia. There’s just one problem with the UN’s “if a, then b” scare tactic: we’ve heard it all before, the last time they said it’s the “warmest year” on record; and what followed, was a 16-year cooling trend, featuring record cold temps logged by NASA satellites.

It was the 2001 IPCC Third Assessment Report (TAR), which claimed the 1990s was likely to have been the warmest decade and 1998 the warmest year during the past 1,000 years. Then, it got cold — and the UN put the “warming” claims on ice.

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The Left Wing Media is Leading a War on Conservatives & Hope To Destroy You

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At the New Republic, staff write Osita Nwanevu called for the destruction of the GOP.

Nwanevu cited the cases of Donald Trump and Roy Moore as why the GOP should go the way the of the Dodo.

The writer took issue with the Republican National Committee’s decision to continue supporting Moore amid allegations of child molestation. He also criticized the Trump administration for its caging of children at the border.

What bothers Nwanevu the most is how the Republican Party has backed Trump all of this time.

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He even tried to link Trump to the previous failed administration George W. Bush.

Nwanevu attempted to draw the comparison below:

Trump’s own rhetoric of division and exclusion was preceded by the 2004 reelection campaign for George W. Bush, which took advantage of homophobia to boost turnout from social conservatives. Before thousands of Puerto Ricans devastated by Hurricane Maria were forced by the Trump administration’s shoddy recovery effort to ask themselves whether they were really Americans after all, thousands of African Americans failed by the Bush administration’s relief efforts after Hurricane Katrina posed the same question to themselves. Trump’s intimations that the federal executive is above the law may well have been bolstered by the Bush administration’s warrantless surveillance of the American people. Even Trump’s efforts to integrate his companies within the processes of the state were preceded by the Bush administration’s curious keenness for contracts with Halliburton, the company Vice President Dick Cheney ran before Bush took office.

The writer also criticized Trump for sowing divisions based on racial lines.

In Nwanevu’s view, “Donald Trump is not a departure from the values defining the Republican Party, but the culmination of its efforts to secure power in this country.”

He took it a step further by describing the Republican party as “a reliable opponent of equality and a malignant force in American life—a cancer within a patient in denial about the nature and severity of her condition” that must ultimately be “destroyed—vanquished from the American political scene with a finality that can only be assured not by electoral politics or structural reforms alone, but by a moral crusade.”

The staff writer gushed about demographics, largely propelled by post-1965 Immigration Act policies, as a main driver of the inevitable political change in America.

The Left is no longer hiding their intentions when it comes to mass migration.

They understood full well its political implications, which is why they constantly brag about the GOP’s upcoming demise.

The GOP should take these threats seriously, and work day and night to re-elect President Trump and take back the U.S. House.

Trump should take the gloves off in his second term and carry out substantial immigration restrictions such as ending birthright citizenship and chain migration, fully funding the border wall, restricting pathways to citizenship, and completely defunding sanctuary cities to deny Democrats the permanent electoral majority they so desire.

The time for talk is over.

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