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CLOWN SHOW: New York Gubernatorial Candidates Spar Over Temperature of Debate Room

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In what is the perfect metaphor for political leftism, which complains about petty issues and accomplishes nothing, the incumbent Governor of New York and his challenger spent the entire day before this evening’s only public debate arguing over – of all things – the temperature of the debate room.

“Nixon’s team requested that the temperature in the room where the debate is being held at Hofstra University be set at 76 degrees,” CBS reported. “Cuomo is notorious for preferring an extremely cold environment during his public appearances.”

Former actress Cynthia Nixon is running against Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-NY) in a clash of true titans. Both candidates are politically left of Stalin.

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Nixon’s campaign adviser Rebecca Katz wrote an email to WCBS-TV, the station hosting the debate, saying that Cuomo was “notoriously sexist when it comes to temperature, so we just want to make sure we’re all on the same page here.”

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This is not a satire piece. According to the Nixon campaign, it is a universally accepted fact that females prefer warmer temperatures, and those who do not oblige them are now “sexist.” Katz did not address the preferred room temperature among gender non-binary people (or any of the other 5o plus genders), surely a micro-aggression.

But Cuomo’s team fired back, assuring CNN that the his campaign made no temperature-related requests.

“Unlike Cynthia Nixon, the governor has more important things to focus on than the temperature of a room,” said campaign spokeswoman Lis Smith.

The fight escalated on Twitter.

“Captain recovering from attending debate prep in Team Nixon’s preferred temperature,” wrote Melissa DeRosa, Cuomo’s top aide, with an accompanying photo of Cuomo’s dog sitting on a pile of ice.

“Maybe you say 76 degrees and get 65 degrees instead of freezing at 50,” Nixon advisor L. Joy Williams shot back when a reporter mocked the entire situation.

CBS did not clarify what solution to campaigns reached on the temperature on the room, but did note that the debate was mostly a snooze.

“[n]either [candidate] landed a significant hit against their opponent,” according to the report.


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President Trump Rejects Paying For Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s Private Security

The royal celebrities will foot the bill.

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President Trump made it clear on a Sunday tweet that British royals Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would have to pay for their own security costs upon moving full-time to the United States, clarifying that they wouldn’t receive federal security under an existing arrangement that covers British royals temporarily visiting the US.

The royal celebrities have distanced themselves from the Queen, apparently viewing themselves as victims of relentless paparazzi and media attention.

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Harry and Markle initially moved to Canada after resigning from the royal family, but they’ve recently moved to Hollywood just before the Canadian border was closed to nonessential travel due to the Chinese coronavirus epidemic. The elitist couple apparently plans on reinventing themselves as American-style celebrities, and have hired a small army of media consultants and public relations agents to market their image.

When information of their move to Los Angeles became public knowledge, many began to speculate if they’d recieve taxpayer-funded security in a manner akin to British royals visiting the United States on official state vists. President Trump’s Sunday tweet appears to eliminate that possibility.

The thirteen colonies that became the United States rebelled against the yoke of the British monarchy for a reason. President Trump’s decision to cut off the wannabee celebrities from publicly-funded security is a deeply American decision. The UK’s monarchy is one of the wealthiest legacy institutions in the western world, and it would be absurd to imagine that it can’t afford to hire private security for the ‘former’ royals, who are set to fully renounce their royal obligations at the end of the month.

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