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Nancy, There’s Still A Commercial Flight You Can Catch To Afghanistan

Don’t fret, we’ve done the legwork to make sure you can still reach Afghanistan!

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Dearest Nancy,

All of us here at Big League Travel are devastated to hear of the evil orange President cancelling your trip today. But thankfully, there is still time to make the trip, and that’s why we’re here.

Reviewing your options, we are able to get you to Afghanistan on a flight departing tonight. But I can already tell that a woman with your expensive tastes, and at least $29 million in net worth, won’t be interested due to the lack of First Class accommodations. It’s laughable to imagine an elite  like you sitting next to peasant foreigners.

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Regardless, that option is pictured below, costing $1,675. If you choose this option, we can send you a cab, something you likely haven’t ever seen the inside of. It lands just outside of scenic Kabul, Afghanistan. You can meet some of the very people your pals Bush and Obama spent their time in office “liberating.” I’m sure they’ll love you! Everyone there is so friendly.

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Did Kyle Rittenhouse act in self defense?

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But if you’re the elite power-player we know you are, there is one more option.

The Rolls Royce of travel to the Middle East is through Emirates Air. You don’t even need to interact with the icky poor people, considering you have a private section cut off from them, and private entrance to the plane! And the best part is that it only costs $29,000! That’s nothing for somebody with multiple multi-million dollar homes.

This might be your best option, especially with your flight leaving tomorrow at 10:25 AM, giving you some time for some well deserved sleep. It must take a lot of energy making all the excuses you have to come up with for not building a wall.

We’d like to move forward with finalizing your travel arrangements, so we look forward to hearing back from you. The government may be shut down, but Big League Travel is at your service Madam Speaker.

Sincerely,

Luke Rohlfing

Satire

WATCH: Hilarious ‘BLM Converts a Racist’ Parody Video Lampoons Leftist Hypocrisy From Sports Figures

This parody video blasts hypocrites like Lebron James and Colin Kaepernick.

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Sports journalist Jason Whitlock of OutKick has released a video on social media lampooning Black Lives Matter and the athletes who have injected leftist dogma into professional sporting events.

Whitlock posted a video featuring a supposed racist hillbilly named Billy Ray Joe Bob who harbored hate in his heart until hearing lectures from privileged millionaire athletes whining about how they’re so oppressed.

“The American flag flies and Billy Ray watches as the players take a knee. But what–what’s this? It appears that Billy Ray Joe Bob is reflecting on the heroic contributions of Jacob Blake and dozens of other violent criminals who have bravely resisted arrest,” Whitlock said in the parody video.

“Billy Ray Joe Bob is a man reborn. But that’s not the end of this miraculous transformation,” he continued.

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It was at this point when Whitlock showed Billy Ray ditching his KFC for Popeye’s chicken and hot sauce, giving up his Bud Light for Hennessy VSOP liquor, and throwing aside his edition of Guns & Ammo for the voluptuous soul sistas of Ebony magazine. The video ended with Billy Ray getting twerked on by a woman of color.

“Heck, a few more months of kneeling and, who knows, maybe the athletes themselves will start dating black women,” Whitlock said to conclude the video.

The video can be seen in its entirety here:

Whitlock has frequently appeared on Fox News’ “Tucker Carlson Tonight” to keep it real about the extremely unsophisticated China-driven political stances made regularly by low IQ sportsball chuckers, as Big League Politics has noted:

Sports journalist Jason Whitlock criticized NBA, Nike, and sports companies for caving in to China during various interviews on Fox this week.

On Tuesday night during Tucker Carlson’s show, Whitlock broke down how shoe and athletic apparel companies rely on the Chinese market which has a major influence on NBA interactions with China and its repressive regime.

“You see NBA players constantly over the summer during their off-season running to China to do the bidding of their shoe companies and to sell their shoes in the China market and so the NBA is really being exposed as not nearly as much of an American business as it is a global business with China perhaps having more influence over it than even America,” Whitlock explained.

“These athletes are young and I’m not giving them an excuse but they’re young,” he continued. “Many of them didn’t go to college, they’ve only spent a year or two ago in college. They don’t understand how they’re being used and played to promote a communist, a Marxist agenda.”

The sports journalist continued:

These guys can rail against our government, our president and be applauded for it. They don’t have the courage to speak out against a communist government. All kinds of human rights violations. It’s the epitome of hypocrisy and cowardice.

Later this week, Whitlock went on Sean Hannity’s show to continue sounding off on the NBA’s cowardly behavior when confronting China.

Whitlock thinks there’s something more to NBA player’s constant criticism of President Donald Trump and their complete silence on China.

He believes that this story is “really about Nike.” Whitlock notes that the NBA is a $8 billion per year business, while Nike is a $40 billion per year business. In his view, the NBA answers to Nike, while Nike answers to China.

Whitlock’s new outlet OutKick is following the lead of Barstool Sports and actually giving the consumer what they want, instead of shoehorning social justice propaganda through athletic events and commentary.

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