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‘Racist’ Gorilla Statue to Return Home to Texas Park After Being Deemed Not Racist

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In the most incendiary act of aggression towards an innocent gorilla since the death of Harambe, a park in Corsicana, Texas came close to permanently removing its caged gorilla statue on Monday.

“The gorilla statue that has been at Corsicana’s Community Park for nearly two decades was removed Monday,” said a Fox News report.

The statue was the subject of complaints of racial insensitivity because the gorilla was in a cage, and because literally everything is racist these days.

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But the fine residents of Corsicana were not ready to give up on their beloved gorilla quite so easily.

“If they were that sensitive, they would do a whole lot of things like come vote,” said Gertrude Richardson, a resident of the town. “If they are really sensitive, they could come to the city commissioners meeting.”

Jenna Burkes, whose kids grew up playing in the park accompanied by the majestic statue, said that she was sad to see it go.

Responding to backlash from residents, Corsicana Mayor Don Denbow said the gorilla will be returned to the park with some “modifications.”

Those modifications will include un-caging the gorilla, which is probably what the gorilla would want anyway.

As it turns out, some tragic stories have happy endings.

 

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