Rand Paul Roasts Establishment in Hilarious Annual Festivus Tweetstorm

Kentucky libertarian Republican Senator Rand Paul made it clear in a tweetstorm that he’s feeling the holiday spirit- although not for a holiday you’d typically associate with the end of December.

Paul has made himself known as a enthusiastic celebrant of Festivus, an alternative holiday popularized by the 1990’s sitcom Seinfeld. Patrons of Festivus are encouraged to mark by holiday through an “airing of grievances,” a ritual Paul has annually undergone on Twitter.

This year’s airing of grievances included numerous hilarious roasts of progressives and establishment Republicans.

Paul started things off with a nod to faux “Native American” Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren, who became the subject of mockery this year for fictitious claims of American Indian heritage. To make matters worse, Warren released a DNA test that supposedly demonstrated tribal heritage by suggesting she had a Native American relative 6-10 generations ago.

I came to say Happy #Festivus to my friend Elizabeth Warren. Cant find her. pic.twitter.com/A4xSJ7Nf7x

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— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018

Paul then referenced neoconservative Republican Lindsey Graham, a staunch warhawk who recently came out in strong opposition to President Trump’s plans to end U.S involvement in Afghanistan and Syria. Having been cited as a key influence in the President’s decision to end the costly and seemingly endless(in the case of Afghanistan) conflicts, Paul brought up the striking similarities between Graham and another warmongering, albeit fictional senator(and Emperor):

My friend Lindsay Graham is a bit mad right now. You see, he’s never seen a war end before. He’s going to have to console himself with the fact that we still are in about 8 more. I know it will be hard for him, but I think he’ll get by.

— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018

I have to tell you; I haven’t seen a Senator who loves war this much since the Star Wars Prequels. pic.twitter.com/UFU242XYQK

— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018

Paul’s airing of greviances weren’t limited to roasts of his senatorial colleagues, however. He was able to make a suggestion for an upgrade to a wall design the President had floated on Twitter earlier this week.

I did something to help the President out though. I found him a wall I think will work on the border. pic.twitter.com/gx7ejwn1RU

— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2018

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Joyous Festivus to everyone, even the haters and losers!