ThinkProgress: ‘How Come Lettuce is Banned But Guns Aren’t?’

Progressive news stalwart ThinkProgress unwittingly entered the competition for the worst take in internet history Friday when it wondered aloud why Romaine lettuce is banned, but firearms are readily available.

“On Thanksgiving Day 2018, Americans couldn’t buy romaine lettuce because of a CDC recall linked to an E. Coli outbreak,” said the site’s Ryan Koronowski. “But even though gun violence is so mundane that a shooting at a mall in Alabama Thursday evening barely made national news, guns were still freely available at stores like Walmart across the country.”

Wow. Apparently there’s not a whole lot of thinking going on over at ThinkProgress. This was a true “no-brainer.” Let’s break it down.

First of all, consider the apparently not-so-obvious.

The right to bear arms is fundamental. It is the second right granted by God to Americans to be protected by government. It’s right there in the Bill of Rights, right after the First Amendment and right before the Third. As I’m looking at my pocket Constitution, I see no right to bear romaine. Likewise, there is no right to bear arugula, spinach, or any other leaf vegetable that one might use to make a salad. Sorry to all the vegetarians out there.

Secondly, consider that banning romaine until it is free of E. Coli has little effect on one’s ability to defend himself against a tyrannical government, unless of course one was planning on hiding in his lettuce patch when the Communists at ThinkProgress take over.

Thirdly, it is far easier for the CDC to nix a vegetable than it is for the federal government to nix a Constitutional right. The latter takes time, and we haven’t even entered the discussion phase.

This is elementary stuff, except perhaps for the logically-challenged over at ThinkProgress. 

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