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VICE Reports: Pilgrims Were ‘Super Gay’

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Vice published an enlightening Thanksgiving piece Thursday about the alleged “super gay” nature of the colonial Pilgrims.

“Dig into the history and you’ll see plenty of early American colonizers were super gay—and their compatriots had views of it that were complicated, to say the least,” the piece was sub-headlined.

Those darn Pilgrims and their non-acceptance of the LGBTQIA community back in the 1600’s.

“According to historians and original records, the pilgrims founded an unusually queer society—one that wasn’t straight-up accepting of all that queerness, per se, but had a more complicated relationship with it than you might think,” the piece said. “In fact, as historians note, the name ‘Merrymount’ can also refer to a Latin phrase meaning ‘erect phallus’—quite a coincidence, given the men erected an 80-foot pole in the center of town.”

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The publication did make sure to note that the Pilgrims’ understanding of human sexuality was not as polished ours in the current year, though.

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Apparently there’s a guy at Harvard that studies all this, because what else with they do with that huge endowment?

“[Indigenous] gender roles—not all the time, but a considerable amount—were completely foreign to the Europeans. Every tribe had their own word for it, but there was a considerable amount of gender fluidity,” Professor of Practice in Media and Activism in Studies of Women, Gender, and Sexuality Michael Bronski told Vice. 

“[C]learly, they were f****** before they were married,” the noble academic added.

Not all of the Pilgrims were gay, Vice noted. There was still some of that 1600’s Puritan traditionalism going on in the colonies. Sodomy was apparently punishable by death back in those days. But that did not stop the more promiscuous of Pilgrims.

“My reading of this is that the Puritans were like, ‘people do this stuff, but it really shouldn’t be public,’” Bronski reportedly said. “‘We don’t want to go too far punishing them, because that would hurt the community.’ The most important thing is to keep the community stable.”

And there you have it – the true story of Thanksgiving. The Pilgrims were gay.

 

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Black Man Claims He Survived a Lynching Attempt While Camping in Indiana

This could be the next Bubba Wallace or Jussie Smollett job.

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A black camper in Indiana claims that a group of angry white men attempted to lynch him, yelling “get the noose!” before he was able to escape to safety.

Vauhxx Booker, a civil rights activist harboring a clear political agenda, called 911 and posted his story on social media, which may ultimately go down as the newest hate hoax.

“I don’t want to recount this, but I was almost the victim of an attempted lynching,” Booker wrote on Facebook. “I don’t want this to have happened to me or anyone. It hurts my soul, and my pride, but there are multiple witnesses and it can’t be hidden or avoided.”

Booker claims that a man with a confederate flag threatened to lynch he and his friends who were just innocently minding their own business on a camp site.

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“We relayed to him that we believed the organizers had received permission from the property owners to cross, but apologized and went on to our beautiful site just off the water without any further incident,” Booker said. “When we arrived we told the event organizer of the encounter and it was relayed that the individual wasn’t the actual property owner and the organizer apologized.”

This is when the supposed confederate sympathizer got a posse together, according to Booker’s tale.

“When folks tried to crossed they yelled, ‘white power’ at them,” Booker wrote. “Honestly, we thought it might just be the one drunken individual with the [C]onfederate hat we had encountered earlier who might be instigating the conflict. We decided to just walk back and attempt to simply have a conversation with some of the more sober seeming group members and see if we could smooth things over a bit.”

Booker continued to spin his yarn about the fantastical tale of how he and his friends survived the alleged attack.

“The five were able to easily overwhelm me and got me to the ground and dragged me pinning my body against a tree as they began pounding on my head and ripped off some of my hair, with several of them still on top of my body holding me down,” Booker wrote. “They held me pinned and continued beating me for several minutes seemingly become more and more enraged as they kept trying to seriously injure me and failing. At one point during the attack one of the men jumped on my neck. I could feel both his feet and his full bodyweight land hard against my neck.”

“Get a noose,” one of the men said, as they allegedly yelled racial slurs throughout the attack.

Big League Politics has reported on the epidemic of hate hoaxes that are sweeping the country by left-wing activists looking to demonize white people:

A former master’s student has been arrested and charged with reporting fake racist threats against herself and other campus leaders at her former university.

Anayeli DominguezPena, a 25-year-old woman from Ontario, California, reported that she received a series of threats via social media and email last year. She also claimed that a smoking backpack was left in her car and a man wearing a ski mask accosted her on campus.

Classes were cancelled due to the allegations of the smoking backpack and a hate crime investigation was launched.

“The hateful actions are despicable and the incident is an affront to our values as a university. This is a critical moment for us to stand up for justice and declare that no one in our community will tolerate this type of behavior on our campuses,” University of La Verne President Devorah Lieberman and Provost Jonathan Reed wrote following the report.

Students at La Verne held a big virtue-signalling protest to stand in solidarity with DominguezPena after she made her allegations.

“Every day on this campus, we have to deal with a toxic environment from students, staff and faculty that are not culturally competent and don’t understand the terms of intersectionality,” said Jasmine Marchbanks, a second-year graduate student, at the rally.

“Discrimination and prejudice are systematic at La Verne. The lack of awareness and microaggressions students face on campus create a toxic academic and social environment,” the diversity mob group Students With a Voice wrote in a letter of demands to La Verne administrators.

Now, it has been determined by police that DominguezPena created a series of hate hoaxes to drive her agenda of diversity and multiculturalism. She allegedly threatened herself and student group leaders because of a leftist political agenda.

Booker’s account may be the latest hate hoax that is being used to demonize white people and justify Black Lives Matter terrorism.

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