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Beto O’Rourke Shot For Stars, Settling For Planetarium

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EL PASO, TEXAS — The former panhandle congressman made the announcement Wednesday that he is not going to challenge U.S. Sen. John Cornyn’s seat in 2020, according to reports.

The announcement comes fresh after former Texas U.S. Rep. Beto O’Rourke’s stunningly embarrassing defeat against U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz, who is consistently ranked as only slightly more “likable” by comparison. In other news, Cruz is married to Goldman-Sachs co-conspirator Heidi Cruz  and forgot to disclose his massive loans from the bank that engineered the 2008 global collapse.

None of the aforementioned matter as much to Texans as the fact that Beto was a Democrat with a criminal record, and parents engaged in the shipment and distribution of Heroin.

Simply put, Texas voters decided that — even if a candidate smells — it’s no reason to elect a pile of cow droppings.

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“Amy and I have made a decision about how we can best serve our country,” he said in an exclusive statement to The Dallas Morning News. “We are excited to share it with everyone soon.”

O’Rourke explained that in the wake of his historic defeat by Cruz, he is weighing how to “best serve the country.”

Since removing Cornyn from the table, O’Rourke may likely opt for a White House run, though he will join a large and competitive Democratic Party primary field, including a geriatric self-styled “socialist” with a fake Brooklyn accent, and a fake Native American squaw who’s never gotten a single bill signed into law her entire decades-long career in Congress.

Beto is certainly the most credible fake Mexican who may run for president, but is that enought?

O’Rourke’s decision not to challenge Sen. Cornyn is remeniscent of a man who “shoots for the stars,” and settles for a visit to his local planetarium.

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